Wednesday, May 23, 2007

One Day at a Time

So the days grow closer and my belly grows bigger, if that's even possible, as we await the arrival of our new little girl into this world! So many questions flood me at this particular stage: can I get all the stuff organized and ready in time? Will Jovey be able to even halfway grasp that this baby is a part of mommy and daddy, but also a part of her as her sibling? Can I take care of cuddling both of my "babies" in their own, unique ways they need to be cuddled? Will I make it in and out of the van with little mishaps the first time I try it on my own? Will this little girl have mounds of hair like Jovey, or be as bald as a cue ball? Will I be a good mommy to 2 little girls? Will Joshua go crazy with all of our crazy girl ways, even after just the first week of living with us and all of our drama? Will getting out be a ton easier in this weather, or will I worry about UV rays, mosquitoes and high humidity, where last time I worried about RSV, germs and freezing temps?

With all of this, I am compelled to go to the only place I know that these answers, although not immediately, can be answered with full assurance; a place where no matter how many tears I may shed because Jovey needs me to take her potty right in the middle of a nasty newborn diaper change or how badly I want to just lay down with a whimpering jovey during nap time, a screaming newborn needs my loving touch, there is always a feeling of peace; a place where confidence isn't found in how prim and proper my kids look or how pretty my make-up is applied, but how much love is pouring out from the depths of all of our souls through our eyes and our smiles.

This is the place I lay all my problems down and helplessly look up to a Heavely Father who doesn't promise that life will be easy or even fun all of the time, but who promises peace, love and strength when my body, mind and heart are all weak. He says he will never give us more than He knows we can handle (although, I have questioned that many times, finding the answer that I am stronger than I had ever thought possible). Heading into this new stage of raising not one, but 2 young kiddos scares me to death, but I have faith that in my darkest hours, God is there to take over and pick up where I may be lacking, giving me a moment of complete quiet, or a phone call that offers kind words or helping hands. I don't believe in coincidences, as everything in life happens for a purpose, even if it isn't known until years to come.

Thank you, God, for taking care of me and helping me to stay grounded when my mind gets too cluttered with all of the stuff of this world. You created me and know that I am a worrier by nature, but you have placed a lovnig husband in my life to help remind me that worrying doesn't bring about peace, but only through you, do I find the strength and wisdom I need to deal with all the clutter, ONE DAY AT A TIME.


Joshua McFarland said...

Remember that I am there for you no matter how busy and hectic our lives may be. I am only a phone call, IM or really loud yell away. This life God has called us to is crazy, exciting, scary and uncontrollably kaotic all three both at the same, but somehow we are still able to see through it all and know that God loves us more than we could ever imagine. I am wonderfully blessed to call you my wife and "baby-momma". You do a wonderful job and it excites me each day (even if I don't show it or say it) to think that I am going to grow old with you. Keep your eyes focused, heart open and feet moving and God will do the rest.

Lelakay said...

. . . and people ever question how I could love you!? ha ha!

You are my most wonderful confidant and my bestest friend in the whole wide world! :-) I love you and all that you do to help support us, encourage me, and keep me focused on God stuff instead of world stuff.