Thursday, May 31, 2007

And thus it begins!

Jovey got to hang out with the big kids a bit last night, as I was tired from some preliminary, extra treatments that I need before going into labor (in just 2 weeks at the longest now!) and Joshua was putting on his big summer kick-off with bouncy slides, wiffle ball, pizza, popsicles and all sorts of summer fun! Jovey got to go down the slide before anyone else got here, perks of being the pastor's kiddo, but also got time to go down while the teams of kids who were racing times were transitioning. They all love her and think she's their mascot, so it all worked! Of course, she got all the attention from 20 teens and loved each second as she climbed up one side like a big girl and slid down in records speed on the other, accompanied by cheers, yells and claps from them all. She easily gave up after a while, as she was hot, sweaty and tired, and Joshua walked her over to our porch, where I was watching. We went upstairs and had a good shower down and got ready for bed. After I got her gown on, she decided that she wanted to go back outside. I asked her why, to which she replied, "I wanna go and kiss all the big boys!" Now, there were just as many girls in attendance as there were boys, but for some reason, the girls didn't make quite the impression, I guess. It's already started and boy oh boy, Joshua makes sure to remind her more and more every day that he is her only boyfriend until she turns 30! :-)

"Daddy's Home!"

One day, after Jovey had woken up from a great nap (something that doesn't always describe her nap times), I was combing her hair and getting her ready for a little snack. The tree trimmers were cutting on the tree outside our house with a very loud chainsaw. Jovey looks at me, wide-eyed, as usual, and said, "Mommy, shhhh, Daddy's home!" Now I knew Daddy was still at work and wouldn't be home for quite a while. So I inquired, "What do you mean? He's not home yet!" She replied adamently, "Yes, he's home. I can hear him blowing his nose!" referring to the loud chainsaw roaring outside the bedroom window! Now, unless you have heard Joshua blow his nose, this won't be half as comical, but let's just say that the muffled sound of a chainsaw may be the perfect way to describe the sound that his "deviated septim" makes with every nose blow! Gotta love Jovey's big imagination!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

One Day at a Time

So the days grow closer and my belly grows bigger, if that's even possible, as we await the arrival of our new little girl into this world! So many questions flood me at this particular stage: can I get all the stuff organized and ready in time? Will Jovey be able to even halfway grasp that this baby is a part of mommy and daddy, but also a part of her as her sibling? Can I take care of cuddling both of my "babies" in their own, unique ways they need to be cuddled? Will I make it in and out of the van with little mishaps the first time I try it on my own? Will this little girl have mounds of hair like Jovey, or be as bald as a cue ball? Will I be a good mommy to 2 little girls? Will Joshua go crazy with all of our crazy girl ways, even after just the first week of living with us and all of our drama? Will getting out be a ton easier in this weather, or will I worry about UV rays, mosquitoes and high humidity, where last time I worried about RSV, germs and freezing temps?

With all of this, I am compelled to go to the only place I know that these answers, although not immediately, can be answered with full assurance; a place where no matter how many tears I may shed because Jovey needs me to take her potty right in the middle of a nasty newborn diaper change or how badly I want to just lay down with a whimpering jovey during nap time, a screaming newborn needs my loving touch, there is always a feeling of peace; a place where confidence isn't found in how prim and proper my kids look or how pretty my make-up is applied, but how much love is pouring out from the depths of all of our souls through our eyes and our smiles.

This is the place I lay all my problems down and helplessly look up to a Heavely Father who doesn't promise that life will be easy or even fun all of the time, but who promises peace, love and strength when my body, mind and heart are all weak. He says he will never give us more than He knows we can handle (although, I have questioned that many times, finding the answer that I am stronger than I had ever thought possible). Heading into this new stage of raising not one, but 2 young kiddos scares me to death, but I have faith that in my darkest hours, God is there to take over and pick up where I may be lacking, giving me a moment of complete quiet, or a phone call that offers kind words or helping hands. I don't believe in coincidences, as everything in life happens for a purpose, even if it isn't known until years to come.

Thank you, God, for taking care of me and helping me to stay grounded when my mind gets too cluttered with all of the stuff of this world. You created me and know that I am a worrier by nature, but you have placed a lovnig husband in my life to help remind me that worrying doesn't bring about peace, but only through you, do I find the strength and wisdom I need to deal with all the clutter, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Grass is still grass, no matter who's yard it is in!

It is so funny that you always want what you can't have! I always wanted straight hair, but instead was given wavy hair. I wanted to be naturally skinny, and instead, I'm naturally . . . "not-so-skinny." I wanted a dog growing up, and instead, had hermit crabs! None of the things I had were at anyway bad, but it so funny how what we think we want isn't always what we need!

I never thought I would have huge desires about my children except that I wanted them to be happy and healthy. Then, when Jovey began chattering, which quickly turned into words, which even more quickly turned into sentences, I found myself wanting a quiet child. When those sentences turned into her ways of acting out, I found myself wanting a more compliant child. Then, I talk to friends that have quiet children who wish they had chattier children or children that had a stronger will (although I don't know if that's something to ever wish for! ha ha!)

In the end, I have found that God gives us each what we need, from each of the millions of hairs on our head to the things that make our children so very wonderful, beautiful and unique. It's only human to think the grass is greener in someone else's yard, but we forget all the flowers and old tree stumps and holes that make our yards our own.

I know that there are days when I would love Jovey to follow everything to a tee and just give me a chance to clear my head by playing quietly by herself (yes, even in self play, she talks to herself, her dolls, her books, etc.) but I would never trade the gift that God has given me in her being able to say, "Mommy, I love you so very much!" or when she must know when I'm feeling "less than cute" or just major "preggo" and says "Mommy, you are so cute! I love your eyes!" I am learning to quit "wanting" things and instead, to be more thankful for all the blessings I have been given, even through the constant chattering and challenges that come along with my growing and beautiful 2 year old daughter.