Sunday, February 01, 2009

Tuesday is the Day. . .

So Tuesday, I will be 30. I will walk away from the 20's that everyone, including myself, so looks forward to embracing and I will say, "hello," to a new decade that will surely offer new challenges, new heartaches,but of course, new joys! I told Joshua that each decade is truly significant. My 20's were spent learning more and more about who my future husband would be and then committing to the relationship and growing in it at a young 22. Peer relationships were more shared with my husband and as friends had babies, so we too prayed and considered the same blessing in our lives. My babies were born and as I embark on this new decade, I have a 4 year old baby and an almost 2 year old baby. . . not really much baby to be had anymore, but still MY babies! I was a youth pastor's wife for much of my 20's and learned what that meant and how it was very different to be a pastor's spouse as opposed to how I spent my first 20 years as a pastor's kid! I kept friends from my past, but also embarked on new friendships, both of which are unique, diverse and deeper than ever thought imaginable when sharing a bowl of popcorn and watching, "Children of the Corn" at a friend's slumber party in the 7th grade.

Now, as I look toward the "thirty-somethings", I see new places to walk and grow. I see my girls, becoming young ladies and even, GASP, teenagers before I turn 40! I see myself as a pastor's wife, for whatever that will mean and bring as I still feel humbled to think that God has called our little family to serve His kingdom in great and awesome ways, inspite of our many frailities! I take hold of a new found thirst for Christ, sparked partly by a desire to run and be better physically after birthing babies, but quickly evolving into a desire to be better in all ways, which has then lead to a rewiring of who "Lela" has ever been as a child of God. I see the 30's as holding challenges that we will face, but how we will seek ways in which we will use our past mistakes even more to help guide us to where God desires us to be. I see friendships becoming even deeper and more necessary as support systems as my girls become the aforementioned young ladies, developing their own views on life and hopefully, choosing God as the root to how they see that life turning out for them and the future of where they will go!

All in all, I see God behind it all. I see how he has molded me from the very beginning to be right where I am. My faults, my gifts, my scars, my energy, my blessings, my curses, my joys, my hurts, my confidence, my insecurities, my soul mate, my children, my fluffy clouds, my cold, rainy storms; God is in it all! Turning a page into another decade is just another chapter to how God will continue to develop my character and who He has designed me to be! I look forward to daily receiving God's awesome grace, but I look even more forward in learning ways to then give grace to others that need it most, so that He may be glorified as I grow in His grace and in His knowledge always (2nd Peter 3:18)!

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